There is no epidural for adoption....

I read that quote about an epidural and adoption the other day, and the more I think about it, I realize just how true it is. There is no possible way for us to numb the pain of waiting in adoption. We have no choice but to take this one day at a time and feel every bump in the road exactly as it comes. We got some disheartening news this morning in the form of an update from our agency. We are currently #3 on the boy list and #4 on the girl list-this is fantastic as we've again moved up. What has us concerned is getting stuck in the "hold" we knew was coming, we just believed we would be able to slip by under the old laws. There is still a SMALL chance that our referral could come in the next few weeks, but for our sanity, we can't focus on that. We were told this morning that more than likely we're going to have to wait until May to get our referral. MAY????? After what we've already been through May seems like an eternity away. Of course for selfish reasons we just want out baby home so we can parent. We are also concerned that the baby will be slightly older when he or she comes home (7 months instead of 5). Adoption takes a major toll on children as they are forced to adjust without knowing what is going on, and I just hope that those extra months in Korea don't cause extra grieving for our baby once they are home. We don't even know this child yet, and we're already worried about what is best for them. These next few months are going to be very difficult for us. We know that our baby has been born which means they are growing and learning, living with a foster family. We know that the foster care system in Korea is top notch, but there is no substitute for a Mommy and Daddy. We are so ready to take on those titles and it is so painful to know that we're going to have to try and remain patient for a while longer.