There is no epidural for adoption....

I read that quote about an epidural and adoption the other day, and the more I think about it, I realize just how true it is. There is no possible way for us to numb the pain of waiting in adoption. We have no choice but to take this one day at a time and feel every bump in the road exactly as it comes. We got some disheartening news this morning in the form of an update from our agency. We are currently #3 on the boy list and #4 on the girl list-this is fantastic as we've again moved up. What has us concerned is getting stuck in the "hold" we knew was coming, we just believed we would be able to slip by under the old laws. There is still a SMALL chance that our referral could come in the next few weeks, but for our sanity, we can't focus on that. We were told this morning that more than likely we're going to have to wait until May to get our referral. MAY????? After what we've already been through May seems like an eternity away. Of course for selfish reasons we just want out baby home so we can parent. We are also concerned that the baby will be slightly older when he or she comes home (7 months instead of 5). Adoption takes a major toll on children as they are forced to adjust without knowing what is going on, and I just hope that those extra months in Korea don't cause extra grieving for our baby once they are home. We don't even know this child yet, and we're already worried about what is best for them. These next few months are going to be very difficult for us. We know that our baby has been born which means they are growing and learning, living with a foster family. We know that the foster care system in Korea is top notch, but there is no substitute for a Mommy and Daddy. We are so ready to take on those titles and it is so painful to know that we're going to have to try and remain patient for a while longer.

Graham....or....Amelia

We got an update from our agency today. There have only been slight changes in the waiting list since the last time we heard which is disappointing to us...as of our last update we were #5 on both the boy list and the girl list. As of today though, we are #5 on the boy list and #4 on the girl list! That is obviously only a slight difference, and things often change so quickly that tomorrow we could find out we're #1 on the boy list, but we feel like we're being thrown for a loop. For so long we've been told to prepare for a boy. So, we've prepared for a boy and have been shopping happily for our child like crazy. We're going to be THRILLED to receive a referral whether or not it's a boy or a girl, it's just a change of direction. If Amelia ends up coming home, there is no doubt that we have some serious work to do in the nursery....good-bye sage, rust, and black, hello ruffles, toile, and everything girly!

Baby Shower!

Yesterday we had our first baby shower. It was a couples shower and actually the first baby shower that either of us had ever been to! The baby shower was overwhelming (in a good way!) as we were able to experience firsthand what an amazing support network our growing family already has! It was touching for us as we realized this because we still haven't had the opportunity to put a face with this little baby we know is out there just waiting for us, yet we all have so much love for him already! We received so many generous and thoughtful gifts, it's emotional just thinking about it. Thank you to everyone who had a part in our wonderful party yesterday. It really meant a lot to us and your efforts and generosity will never be forgotten!The baby room is FULL of sweet baby things, now we just need the baby!



Jeff modeling our new Baby Bjorn carrier! This is what our baby will be carried around in as we race through the airports on our way home!

Delicious desserts!

Opening gifts!

3 LONG months...

Today we hit the three month mark of waiting for a referral. It is becoming more difficult to remain patient. A few months ago we were joking with eachother about what day our referral would arrive on. Unfortunately, the date Melissa chose has already come and gone, and today, February 6, is the date Jeff chose. We just want to know WHO our baby is, and WHEN he will arrive. That must be nice about pregnancy....you know when you get to meet your child. Soon enough we will have our answers.

STILL #5

We've been in Mexico for the past week which was a wonderful way for us to unwind and relax. Since we were out of the country we were unable to ask for an update last week and we had very high hopes for moving up the list while we were away. We seem to have good luck while we're out of the country. Two years ago while we were in the Dominican Republic, we sold our town house. A few weeks after that trip we left for Korea and while there, we were able to finalize the purchase of our current home. We had this fantasy that we would be able to say "While we were in Mexico, we received the referral of our first child!". Things didn't work out that way though, and we're disappointed to say the least. As of today, we are still #5, as there have been no new referrals since the last time we checked in. This wait is getting painful. It is getting harder and harder to walk by the nursery each day and not see a baby in it. We both go to sleep each night wondering where our baby is and who is taking care of him. Although we know the Korean foster care system is top notch, we desperately want to be the Mom and Dad to tuck him in each night and wake up (probably many times!) for feedings in the rocking chair. Neither of us had any idea that waiting in adoption would be so difficult. Many people have compared this waiting period to 9 months of pregnancy. We assure you though, it is actually quite different. A pregnant woman KNOWS that in just 9 months she will be the one to hold her baby. We on the other hand, entered into adoption with "no guarentee" timeline and the wait is starting to drive us both crazy.

We're #5!!!

After a nice and relaxing weekend up north at the lake, we came home to an email letting us know that we've again moved up the list-#5!!! We were a little shocked to also find out that not only are we #5 on the boy list, but also #5 on the girl list! This is absolutely unbelievable to us, as we've been told for the past 6 months to expect a boy. We're still expecting a boy, but one of us will definitely be talking to the Korea program director tomorrow to find out if this is some kind of fluke that we're in the same place on both lists, and also to find out which list appears to be moving faster at this point. We will be just thrilled with either a boy or a girl, we just want to meet this little person! Amelia Paige Olson or Graham Greer Olson...your guess is as good as ours at the moment.......

January 6, 2007-Waiting for 2 months...

January 6, 2007
Today marks exactly 2 months of officially being on the waiting list. The wait is getting more difficult as each day passes. At this point, we assume that our child has already been born, and we know that with each day he grows bigger and stronger and we aren’t there to witness any of it. Neither of us are very patient people, and this process has been nothing but a true test of our patience. Through this entire ordeal though, we have learned that we are both much stronger than we give ourselves credit for! Waiting in adoption is not for the weak hearted!